People are strange  when ure a stranger faces seem ugly when when ure alone women seem wicked
when ure alone...........
so it was one of those days...when nothing seems to go right...things keep gettin from bad to worse.So, after slugging it out all day, i decided to go for a drive in the evening.I was driving pretty much like a maniac.Recklessly, pushing all limits, until i saw a roadblock. The strange thing was, that this road usually is never congested enough to get ammed.Like the quintissential biker, i wriggled my way through . What i saw completely startled me.
Two ladies were trying very hard not to cry , a small kid was screaming , terrified . There had been an accident , obviously . Had someone died.? did anyone need to be hospitalised ..? could they use help...??? I guess i'll never know.

For, the truth is that i was too scared to look that way properly. too selfcentered. so i looked away and drove on .What a coward. Scum . Vermin . rat.Thats how i felt.But it was then that i realised how insignificant my problems were..That no maTTer how badly you are off... someone might be farin worse...............All u gotta do is look at the bigger picture to  realise how tiny and insignificant u really are....

OK... first of all.. a big helo , I just got free after 3 hectic weeks . If u knew me well enough u would know that my life is almost as peacfull as th Atlantic ocean. The last i posted , submissions were killing me ,to mae matters worse my mom was on her way here and she expected me to be all done by the time she arrived.

So my mom arrives all smiling and announces her intention of whisking me off to Goa . Ordinarily this would have been a fine proposition , but like every other self respecting engg student i had my pracs  around the corner . " woory not " she said , " u can always work there can't you..?? " Hmmmm , not a bad idea i think , so i packed my bags and caught the next bus outta town .

You don't need to be a rocket scientist too figure out ow muh work i mananged there , so here i go rattlin away what a casual observer would come accross n a land of semi clad women and drunk men .

Needless to say , upon entering my resort i gorged upon all the food i could  lay my eyes on , and after doing that i decide to take one of those "after eatin too much" strolls . After some persistent window shopping i finally came aross some of those cool biker stuff , those honda and yamaha racer shirts if u know what i mean . Feeling the need to try one on i asked for an appropriate ( read bigger ) size , on doing i was told that what lay before me was the biggest possible size , to which my reply was something like  " what the #$^% ? " . Then i was told that these are the laest 'John Abrahim" thingys and that they were meant to be body hugging and i should try it n. it "might look good " . Now i really dont have the best of shapes and i really cant stand to be insulted like that.

So i gave up , planted myself on the beach for a week , saw my sis getin bit by a jellyfish , fat men tryin as many matin calls as they can on indifferent women  , blondes checkin me out ;) and a lot more . Guess what ... i come back only to find out that My pracs had been preponed . Somehow i survived  ... ( i still wonder how,, ) IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK !!!

sometimes , the laziest of days turn into  something that really can't be described .So here is what ca bes be described as the perfect example of murphy's law...
For the uninformed, here are a ew examples f murphy's laws....

1.What can go wrong,WILL go wrong.

2.The intelligence in this world is a constant.The population keeps increasing.

And finally.... the el supremo...

3.Nothing in this world can be foolproof.Fools are just SO ingenious.!!!

well i guess u already have an idea of whats comin your way , but i shall ramble on ( like the deft storytller i am.).

Ok, so its six in the morning and i open my eyes, flex ten whole muscles just to smile at the nothingness around me.So i get this brainwave, jump out of bed and go for a jog. I come back panting and do that exercise routine i read in a batman comic. I might just be like him one day.... all i need is a million bucks an amazing physique and no ' i wish i could make out with that woman...' thoughts. ( believe me i am not far from it haha .) So i change and like mama's little boy i start drawing diagrams and stuff. The i get this bright idea and start messagin all my friends who had college to remind them how wonderful a day off really is.... they screamed in turn and i snickered, felt like the devil himself.

Hang on , heres where the fun part starts. I get a call from a friend saying that it was imperitive that we get our sheet checked on friday..( that, then was tomorrow.). In true superstar style i had't even started it. So i travel halfway accross town to get hold of that sheet. On my way back i grab a bite to eat and coffee. I come back and decide to relax for a while.
So by the time i decide to start its 5.30 in the evenin...now pay attention.

5.30   start work
5.31   my drawing instruments..( read drafter) are not with me, they are in the hostel!!!
5.32   dash to my bike.
5.33   realise its not there, ( i forgot i had given it to get serviced..)
5.34   fret
5.40   Realize  i am the coolest and can get work done with a simple ruler.
6.30   Realize i am getting nowhere.
7.00   eat and tell myself to relax.
8.00   try to work and mess things up even more.
8.15   get a panick attack.
8.16   decide to catch an auto and get that cursed instrument from a friends place.
8.17   realize that i locked myself outide my house.....
8.20   call my cousin in VIT whohas a s[pare key to my bachellor pad.

So then i travelled all over town in true super hero style to get that wretched key and  a drafter.
I reach home at 10... start workin dexterously. Speak to my sis about how screwed up life is....
so i am halfway through... at around 12 i get a call ... with those famous last words...
" not drawin the sheet i hope...?? we submittin it on monday...!!!!" 
 
my reply was somethin like this....   " #$@%%^&&&&(&^%^^$#"

On a perfectly lazy day in which i accomplished nothing ( and feeling really happy that i  still accomplished that , haha) , i was keepin myself busy with some light reading and music . Thinking about stuff only i can imagine. (I redefine the words 'wild imagination' every now and then).  'Romeo and julliet'was playing on my comp. ,which , according is one of the best songs ever written.I am a big dire straits fan ,and in this particular song i really admire that guy romeo. Espescially the time when  he just   comes out and says something like............................
"you and me babe...
how about it......"

I am this really gutless guy. Espescially when it comes to strangers...There were times as a kid when i went upto some shop and if perchance, i did not know  the guy sitting behind the counter, i would get the "heebie jeebies" . This was usually compouded by the simple fact that most shop keepers were always engrossed in a "haan bhai aur batao.." conversation with some guy or the other .I  would find it next to impossible to butt in and buy something. This so called "silver lining" is still in me ... I still remember the first time i came to  pune , which has to be socially the most moribund time i ever had. ever. Not to mention the big language factor... and the fact that some teachers openly stated the fact that we outsiders disturb the peace and quiet of this lovely place... yeah .. as if we all have " 666" etched on our behinds...!!!!!!! For days at an end  the song 'strange days' by 'the doors' would be playin in my head..( " people are  strange... when you're a stranger ... women seem wicked when you're alone.. when you're strange.. strange..YEAH" kck ass song that..)

 Time did pass by... slowly ,but it did pass...(  you have to hand it to time... never pauses..misery never lasts.. well almost.. nor do good times... nice guy that 'father time' ..)  Presently i do have a few people that i can call friends..good ones at that.But my troubles dont end here,this strange habit of mine keeps comin back to haunt me. For instance, if i ever see an attractive member of the fairer sex ( attractive is a wierd word..its different for everyone.. for me the voice of a person is also part of her attractiveness... so is her attitude and her snobishness.... and so on...) i can never ever open my mouth. Nor even give a passing smile. I still remember the first and only  time when i actually asked out a girl.. i was mum for like eons... kept fumbling with words... untill she told me to just say whatever i wanted to.....( obviously she said no...haha...what do u expect...???) .Now that i am so used to this way of life that i secretly keep hoping that it will never end. I could give my GRE and go abroad but i cant afford to imagine what will become of me there...( its harsh world out there...so they say.) So all i am keen on doing is giving the Symbi exam ..partly because i find mass com really cool and also due to the fact that some of my school pals are there so adjusting would be really easy.thats another thing about life... i hardly knew these ppl in school,and now that they are here we are really close.

Maybe now you might understand that i so often feel lie i still am four years old and have wandered off into the unknown, am waving my arms about, trying to feel for someones hand to lead the way or a smiling face to put me at ease . Someone to tell me that life  actually is pretty gentle, that it does't count whether you are the best or not ,that there is nothing such as heartbreak or rejection and that everything will be alright...........

i have these 2 worlds i live in........one of which is  mine and one  which is't . you see life is already pretty complicated without me havin to switch worlds all the time.hence i guess this does't really help me in a good way but in a way it is a real lifesaver. you see a miserable defeat in the outer world usually translates into sweet victory for me.... and sweet victory for me usually is't so in the outer world.

i guess these worlds are like 2 parallel dimensions... to succeed in both is virtually impossible.This is as, deep down inside most of us are alot like kids... we want people to  appreciate us , and just because of that i usually let myself down... there are countless instances when i am meandering in my very own universe and i have this crazy fuckin smile on my face and by the time i am done there and deide to go to the otherside ,i usually wake up to stuff like .." its useless gettin through to you ...."  or " what about your responsibilities ...." and" snap  out of it...!!!!!what a fuckin kid...!!!!!!!" .

'Au contraire' when i usually indulge in others and  do whatever the fuck i socially am expected to do i usually  end up feeling miserable about myself...... you know because i might be smilin and complimentin someone  i really am laughin my head out at from inside..... hmmm that does make me feel rotten and usually results in alot of futile conteplation of how to get morrally even inside my head...... oh and by the way if  i ever dared laugh at someones face whenever u feel like i become "captain cool" in my own world ... (full of imaginary applause and all) and would later curse myself for doing so an get o hear another one of those ..." think of others "  lines.....
you see thats why life can get so prplexing....
you can almost never have your cake and eat it to..........
so in the end who do you please..... yourself or the world.???????????????
what would you rather endeavour for.... smiling at a scornfull world or scowling at a smiling one...????????

OH WELL................WHAT THE HELL.........!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, i went for the pune car rally  with a few pals. For the unaware , the first prize is ten grand AND that had our

tongues wagging. you see ,last year we  entered at the last possble moment,screwed up quite a bit and then promptly won the

second prize in the maruti category (somethin that we still have't figured out how).The clincher was that all these other

guys from my hostel actually took time off practicin for a week ( with cars and with wisecacks, which were of course on us..)

and went back with nothin to show..:).

 This year we were cocky as ever and even came up with a few wise ones of our own. Now in  order to increase our odds of

winnin we agreed to do up our car ( white zen) like a dalmation...we called it "that dog-gone car". It was really cool with a

tongue waggin out and all, little kids even wanted photos of our car !!!

Well so it started , things went almost perfect and we did a really great time ( as in lap time...), our confidence was on an

all time high and we were tellin our friends to practice all possible methods of clapping ( you know for max efficieny and

min effort so the applause is louder and longer..)  . I even met this girl who i (and only i, no one else i know..) find

really cute.( she was in my GRE class and all... never got to know her really well.)SO things were good ,we had a great lunch

and went home to catch a nap.. results were in the evening with dinner at taj....

Come evenin time and i was tryin to look half decent this year. last year i ended up goin in torn jeans and everyone around

me was immaculately adorned...I strolled in thhinkin of what to say while acceptin the cash and more importantly what to say

to floor that girl who was goona  be there...( i really should not have been to optimistic about that coz all i managed

during lunch was a" see you in the evenin..." with a sheepish smile.)

What i saw on entering the hall blew the living daylights outta me...
ok we were seventh overall outta a 100 cars which was good...!!!!
we were second in the maruti category... pretty good eh..??
everyone loved our car decorations....:))

now the clincher...
they scrapped the second prize in the maruti category... unlike last year... so bad luck there...
we were edged out by 1 point for the first prize....
Four chicks won that prize.. ans yes that cute girl was one of em....
( they won another trophy for the best female team...i bet they call themselves ' the rapchick chicks ' by now..)
we lost out because of a minor calculation hitch....( i was incharge of the fuckin calculations...:((((((((  )
we did not get the decoration prize coz we did't have a fuckin message....!!!!  a message...!!!! ( instead it went to a lady

with a fake accent and a banner sayin " drive safely.." and another sayin " dont talk and drive or you may never talk

again...")

so there i was... watchin that cute chick celebrate ( so much for flooring her... the only thing on the floor was me...)
OH WELL.........WHAT THE HELL